I am a week behind and we are only three weeks into January…not a good sign. To be honest, I’ve struggled this past week with being thankful for anything. I have been agitated, angry, bitter, and quite comfortable in my entitlement.
After a series of breakdowns and emotional outbursts what I can honestly say I’m most thankful for in this moment is my husband’s gentle strength. I watch him struggle and work through our current circumstance but the moment he sees that I am spinning or struggling to see the hope of God; he stops, pulls himself out of his self-centeredness and gently leads me back to the truth. He has a strength about him that is not about powering through or being a tough guy, he leads me through his own tears and his own fears and his unwavering faith. It’s a beautiful gift to watch my husband suffer well and live out his dependence and need for a God that has lavished him with grace, mercy, and truth.
As I start to panic and fret and control…he gently guides me back to the truth that has given me peace the last few months. The truth that God and God alone is the one in control and God decides what is good and what is next; that we can truly find comfort and peace in the knowledge that we belong to God and only because He decided so.
Thank you Mr. for being a constant reminder of who Jesus is; not by your own strength but by His.